I have been battling suicidal thoughts for 35 years. I have been thinking of initiating a severe social withdraw with society because I have a deep hatred and fear of the law, society and the government. How can I disappear and become anonymous in my life forever? If you have any questions, please reply to me because I really want to know.
learn you some opsec.
become a monk, go into woods, and start hunting.
ofcourse hunting means hacking.
You apparently already know what you don't like and fear.
Maybe you could try to find what you like/need and focus on that.
This doesn't mean that you shouldn't withdraw, but i think it's not sustainable in the long run if you don't have a goal / know what you want to do.
Learn OSINT to find people. Once you know the techniques you can better protect yourself.
Same with network programming.
We donut forgive we donut forget. We are anonymoose.
Jokes aside, learn opsec, find a way to wipe any kind of data online you might have (emails, accounts etc), move to the highest mountain in Tibet, become a monk and die fighting for the glorious nation of Tibet against the evil red chinks.